Just like what the title states; that was me for the longest time. I messed up countless times. Repeatedly. Over and over and over. Heck, I still mess up like it is my job. Being that person who seemed to make mistakes left and right, I found it very difficult to move forward with my life. I had a difficult time trying to forgive myself. Yeah, yeah I know the "make mistakes, learn from them, build your character" saying. But to be frank, that didn't minister to me that well. I mean, I suppose it did but that was only temporary. Every time I tried to move forward, something would happen that reminded me of the past and I felt that fresh sense of shame as if it happened that day. Every time I felt like I took a step forward, I was really taking a huge step back. For my entire life, I have been going back and forth with no real sense of direction.
I thank God for Jesus. Because of Jesus, no person on this earth can say anything to me to hinder my spirit of Him who lives inside me. This is good news! Jesus keeps no track records. He doesn't see you for what your past may say. He picked up your past with the blood He shed on the cross so that we may follow Him with confidence that we are made new and pure. The old is long gone, the new is here to stay!
"For you have been born again not of perishable seed but of imperishable through the living word of God." 1 Peter 1:23
If you open your heart and tell Him what you've been struggling with, He'll give you the solution. If you tell Him you keep on messing up, He will forgive you instantaneously. If you are lost and unsure on how you can move forward and leave the past behind, He will get in front and show you the way. If you are struggling with a sticky shame, He will take it away from you for good.
"And man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed." Genesis 2:25
When I read this verse, I see it in two different ways. One, they were actually bare naked and didn't think twice about it. And two, the first two people who were created in God's image were untouched, real, and raw. I like to think of it similarly to now when we come to God. We come exactly as we are and because God sent Jesus, we are forgiven and whatever burden of shame we held onto is now gone! Therefore, we are able to move forward with the joy of this amazing truth bestowed in our hearts!
Don't let someone remind you of the mistakes you made. Don't let someone make you feel so small to the point of shame. Don't let someone discount the good truth of Jesus Christ. Your past does not define you. There is no more wrath, no more condemnation, no more reminders, and no more guilt. Jesus LOVES you for exactly who you are! He softened our hearts so we can be a light in this world and love and pray for more hearts to be softened.
I, in no way shape, or form have everything figured out. I am as far from perfect as one can get. My hair is washed every other day (maybe), I am lazy on days where I really need to be productive, and I eat sugary chocolate whilst complaining about my face full of zits. Shame is gone but I mess up and I get discouraged and insecure about my past. But we are human and that is O.K. People are broken. I am broken. However, I believe that it is through those cracks in our broken shells where we can have the light shine through. And that is what it is all about. Your brokenness is welcome in the Kingdom of God!!
"Christianity is one beggar showing another beggar where he found the bread." D.T Niles
That person, to be honest, is me. Been trying to figure out answers to some questions, including with putting myself out there, actually achieving something in life, and even finding so called "the one". Still don't have much luck, if any at all. Someday though, I know that luck will come BUT it seems as if I can't do it alone to be honest. Definitely need some luck for once. It would be pretty funny if you or anyone saw this comment a couple hours after it's been posted cause that would literally SHOCK me! Not to be religious here but everything you said in this post IS in my heart so I can be saved since I've done so much bad in life. Even though it may not look like it, it still happens almost every day. Especially since I have a few so called GIFTS BUT my life is indeed a difficult one. If you enjoyed reading this comment, please feel free to check out EVERYTHING KDS related and even message me if you want to! I'm not doing a whole lot these days to keep myself busy because of what I said in this comment. I would be so surprised if you could help me out you know. Anyways, thanks for reading and I hope to hear from you soon.
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